Random thoughts

I am 54 years old, soon to be closer to 60. My hair has turned gray and silver. My right ear is turned off and doesn't work any more. My ass has gone south. My eyes are green. My skin always looks like I have been in the sun. I have lumps and bumps and if you can't get past that, screw you. I spend most of my waking hours at work, with Baxter, and very often alone with me. I have plenty of time to ponder the world around me. I have the gift of accepting dream visits and sensate visits from the dead living among us. I hear voices and it does not scare me. I look forward to those visits. Sometimes I am disappointed because visitors have better things to do than come to Earth as often as I would like.I think it is cool that when you expect nothing and get something, it is a double gift. I also have learned that on the other hand, if you expect nothing and get nothing, you will not be disappointed. I am lazy and hate to clean. I do a lousy job cleaning. I am not Superwoman( learning that was a utter shock), Samantha the witch or Tony Nelson's Genie. I bob my head and the mess is still there, I twitch my nose and the mess is still there. If I try to multi task, something gets fucked up. I love shoes but am not fond of today's fashion. I should have lived in the 40's. Great shoes and dresses back then. I sometimes wish for the impossible, but look forward to the possible. Odds baffle me, something either will be or it won't be. Odds are 50/50. See what I mean? And often times, it is what it is and there is no rhyme or reason. So live with it and move on. It will change sooner or later. We all have a purpose in our lifetime. I probably will live a long time because I still have not an inkling as to what I am supposed to do, and I am 1/2 way there. Alcoholism is a mean disease. Living with an alcoholic is like living with someone who is bipolar. And it does affect everything. I know from experience. If I could live anywhere, it would be in the South. I think I would make a really good Southern lady. Just call me Weezer- may be spelled wrong, but it's my Blog. I don't need to live on the water, but close enough to it . No need for a boat, canoe or a kayak. I do need a wrap around porch with a swing and ceiling fans. I'd like to smell camomile and sandalwood and lilacs.